Keep Your Spirits Up & Your Batteries Fresh. Yea, I’m Talking About Masturbation.

I like to talk about subjects that people have a hard time talking about. I like to write about subjects that people wouldn’t even think of writing about. I’ve been going over edits for my second novel, Identically Different, where I wrote a scene about one of the main characters, Sadie, going out into the woods to masturbate. Reading it again sometime after I wrote it, I found it to be quite sexy and it got me to thinking that this is not a subject of normal conversation.

Woman Seated with Thighs Apart by Gustav Klimt, 1916.

Some people are so shy about sex and touching in general, that talk about touching yourself is one that most just wouldn’t bring up. I was happy to hear a friend use the word masturbate in conversation this past week. She said she’s been reading the book, 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James, and had to stop to masturbate several times. If that isn’t a great endorsement for a book, I don’t know what is.

I’ve taken several of my friends to an adult shop in Portland, Maine, called  Nomia. It’s not one of those creepy, dark, dingy adult shops. It’s bright and classy and they have a knowledgeable staff there that isn’t shy about explaining anything. Hmm…I should work there. When someone is not in a relationship or perhaps widowed, they still have got to take care of themselves and have that sexual release. Even if one is in a relationship, it’s perfectly healthy. We are all sexual creatures.

The classic and inexpensive silver bullet and another clitoral
stimulator called the LAYAspot by Fun Factory.
Pricey and it burns through batteries rather quickly.

Masturbation is a way to get to know yourself and what parts you have and what you like. Many of us grew up thinking that it was bad to touch ourselves “down there.” It was such a taboo, hush-hush subject. It still is. I’ve talked to my friends who are parents to see if they’ve talked to their kids about masturbation. Most have not. Some don’t even talk to their kids about sex. Masturbation is really the first step. I believe that it gives you the confidence you need in knowing yourself so that you aren’t taken advantage of by a partner…especially at a young age when kids are starting to explore their sexuality.

I did a little research online to see what points of view were out there on masturbation. Planned Parenthood.org is pro-masturbation. Bible.com is not. Hmm…imagine that? Planned Parenthood is with me on it being completely normal and natural. They have quite a bullet list of its positive aspects. These are some of my favorites:

           

- creates a sense of well-being

            - increases the ability to have orgasms

            - improves self-esteem and body image

            - improves sleep

            - reduces stress

            - relieves menstrual cramps

Bible.com says that masturbation “creates a deeper desire and capacity for sex which just leads to more masturbation.” They describe it as “a vicious cycle, like the junkie who craves a “fix,” but is only temporarily satisfied.” They also said that it involves “fantasy, visualization and often pornography.” Like that’s a bad thing. That’s what usually helps to bring one to orgasm. My character, Sadie, was visualizing who she wanted to be with while she was masturbating in the scene that I wrote.

Half of all men and women who masturbate feel shameful or guilty about it according to Planned Parenthood. The reason? Negative messages from their childhood. Why are there negative messages about it when it is NOT harmful and it will NOT hurt your body? Those of us raised Catholic or in the Bible belt have to relearn that it is not a sin and that we won’t burn in hell for doing it. But, if that is still taught, it’s hard to overcome if that is a belief of your faith.

There are actual medical benefits with clinical studies on the positives of masturbation. Because it causes the body to release dopamine naturally, it can help improve disorders such as Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS). Dopamine is also known to lessen the effects of Parkinson’s disease. Hmm…expensive drugs with harmful side effects or free at-home prevention of RLS?

Wikipedia has a whole how-to section if you’re new to it. I’d suggest starting with your hands so you can learn more about your body and then work your way up to toys or objects. Sounding like an employee of Planned Parenthood or an adult shop, I encourage you to go out (well, go into the privacy of your home) and explore masturbation. After all, who doesn’t need to relieve stress and boost their self-esteem? Imagine how much happier of a society we'd live in? Smiles all around.

So, do you do it? Do you talk about it? Do you tell your kids about it? Is it something positive or negative in your life and thinking? Comments are welcome below.

@Ybbeige

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