Making a Fashion Statement with Medical Tape

“Mom, your glasses don’t match your leather jacket,” says Little One.

“Thank you, honey. They really don’t match anything.”

Remember how I wrote about how everyone thought I looked fine? (Read about that here). Well, now, thanks to a Neuro-Opthamologist, I look like a certified goober. With my new glasses, it looks like there is actually something wrong with me.

Let me explain. I’m now wearing plain glasses with strips of medical tape running vertically by the nose piece. Stylish, huh? The tape is supposed to get a few parts of my brain that have to do with vision, to actually talk with each other. I guess my midline vision and my peripheral vision aren’t working together.

Snazzy, huh? How do you supposed they'd pair with a little black dress?

Picture if everything you looked at was constantly jumping around. So minutely that you don’t notice it (well, sometimes you do), but your brain notices it by scrambling your head and balance. The doctor told me that since I was in such good physical shape when I had the head injury, that I’ve been able to compensate quite well. Well, better than others perhaps, but not perfectly.

I can’t really see the tape while I’m wearing the glasses, but others can’t miss it. I can tell that people just stare. Some may say nothing while I’ve gotten other complete strangers asking about it. I even got a blunt, “What’s wrong with you?” The cashier followed up with a quick apology.

I can still see with them on, thank goodness.

Now, this can actually be a positive. Like, when I’m in the checkout line and I can’t remember the pin number for my debit card to save my life. Instead of staring blankly at the pin pad or guessing on several number combinations that sound vaguely familiar, I can point at my glasses and say, “Head injury. Can you run that as credit instead?”

I have some good friends who have tried to be positive about their comments to make me feel good.

“You can hardly even see the tape,” they say. But they saw it to tell me.

Or, “You look good in glasses.” While hinting that there are nicer frames available.

Or, “It looks like a new type of bifocal.” Uh huh. Not.

I had a really good friend say to me when she saw them for the first time, “What’s with the goggles?!” Because there is no hiding an elephant in the room. Thank goodness for true friends.

No matter what anyone thinks, I’m going to continue wearing them. And crossing my fingers that they work. It sure would be nice to have my balance back so I feel more sure-footed and perhaps can ride a bicycle again (or learn to surf). And, they are supposed to help with the constant headaches and nausea that accompany the swirling in my head.

Plus, if this works to the point where I don’t have to wear them anymore, I wouldn’t have to worry about trying to coordinate my outfits with medical tape, since obviously, nothing really matches it anyway.

@Ybbeige

www.barbarabeige.com