In Our Own Little Worlds

Life is so different for all of us. We tend to get caught up in our own little worlds and we don’t know what is happening to all those around us. Well, in a general sense, yes. But, on a more micro-scale, no.

As I drove to work today, I had my new (to me) Katie Herzig Apple Tree album cranking in the car. My windows were down. Temperatures were in the low 70s. I got a solid night’s sleep. All was good in my world.

I looked around at other drivers. I didn’t really see anyone looking as happy as I was (it was before 8 a.m….) I saw a lot of sleep- or caffeine- deprived people with blank stares. One man in a pickup truck took the longest, deepest drag from his cigarette that I had ever seen outside of the movies. As if it was his last ever. His eyes were looking off to the side, but not looking at anything physically around him. He had some serious thoughts going on in his head. But, of what?

Do we really want or need to know what everyone else is doing or thinking or going through? Sometimes, I find it fascinating to watch people. To create a life’s scenario for them in my own head. Can we really imagine what any particular person is going through at that very moment?

My mind goes to one person, one family, who is experiencing something I never would have imagined for them. My cousin’s son was brought to the hospital last week. Thirteen years old. Having a non-stop tic storm from his recent (only a few years) diagnosis of Tourette Syndrome.

I was going about my weekend. Happy as a clam. Yard saling. Finding my new bike. My cousin sat in the hospital 600 miles away with her son in intensive care. I soaked up the sun on a 17-mile bike ride and then at the beach where I went on my first swim of the season in the ocean that was at a balmy Maine 60 degrees and then I went to a neighbor’s for a cookout. My cousin’s son had a brain bleed. I snuggled into my bed with my newest book to read, Illusions by Richard Bach. My cousin’s son was being taken off the ventilator. I went to work with my tunes cranking. My cousin’s son had five brain bleeds and she was told he probably had a mini stroke. I’m feeling warmth, energy, vitality, love. My cousin is feeling pain, sadness, anxiety, anguish, worry. I’m getting ready for bed in the quiet comfort of my home as I write this. She’s worried sick about the outcome of her son, one of a set of twins. Spending countless hours in the hospital.

Every day, we are all truly on different journeys at the same time. I think it would help to be more compassionate and empathetic towards others and realize that not every journey or day is an easy one. When someone does something that ticks you off in traffic or perhaps they aren’t as friendly at work or in the store checkout line like you think they ought to be, think that maybe all isn’t right in their world. Maybe give them a smile and send good energy their way. And, in that moment, give thanks and appreciate all the good things that you have in yours.

Ten Speed Relationships

I bought an old ten-speed bike at a yard sale for ten dollars yesterday. I’ve been wanting a road bike for a while but I just don’t have the budget right now for what would be considered a decent entry level bike (been told I’d need at least an aluminum frame with carbon forks and stays - well over $1,000). My new bike is steel. And, it’s in my budget. I just know that riding on it will be different than my huge-tired, shock-absorbing (hence more work with less speed) mountain bike.

The whole bike thing got me to thinking about this bike as a metaphor for relationships.

My retro, red Ross roadbike.

We have all been in love relationships that can be like this bike. First there’s that initial choice of getting the bike or getting into a relationship. The desire has to be there. It was late in the day (in yard sale terms) when I spied it on the side of the road amongst the other treasures (or junk) that these people were selling. I couldn’t even tell you what else they had there - just that there was a lot of stuff. My eyes went right to this bike. How many other people passed it over? What didn’t they see in it that I did? Why was I seeing such potential?

Right off, the smooth, red finish of this Ross attracted me to it. When you see someone for the first time, we have (or don’t have) an attraction. I think that it is really important to have that physical attraction in a relationship. Next, I noticed that the frame was straight and solid. What a perfect thing to base everything on!

With closer inspection, I could see some slight rust on the chain and here and there. That’s probably because it hasn’t had any TLC in a little while. But, that’s purely cosmetic. Adds character if it doesn’t get scrubbed off. And, I'm good at giving TLC.

The brakes didn’t work, though they were intact. But the pads still looked and felt fine. Probably just some cables then that need to be replaced. Relationship wise? Maybe it’s with someone that hasn’t put on the brakes in a while to take time out to be in a solid relationship? Sometimes we ride from relationship to relationship. Always looking, always seeking. When we finally get in our mind that we’re in a good thing, we can gently apply the brakes and stay for a good, long while.

The walls of the tires had dry rot on them and they were basically flat. But, when we put air in them at the bike shop I took it to, they filled right up and stayed filled allowing me to test ride it. Like the first few dates perhaps? All might not be perfect, but you can go for a good ride if it does work…and that’s the journey of life together. The wheels were almost true and the rims didn’t seem to have any flat spots. That’s what makes a person go. Important to be capable of moving ahead in life without too many bumps – or at least going ahead smoothly through them.

The shifters and derailleurs were all quality, known parts and they seemed to work fine. When each person in a relationship has experiences that can add to each other’s lives and the way they deal with things, I see that as positive. To have the ability to shift or work through things in varying degrees of speed is good – well, especially just having the potential for it there.

The pedals on my new bike were fine by old pedal standards. What comes on most normal-run-of-the-mill bikes. I’m choosing to put on new $60 pedals that I can just clip my bike shoes into. I had the same ones on my mountain bike when I got that 7 or 8 years ago. I had taken them off because they seemed so different. I had been used to riding with cages for almost 20 years instead of clips. But, I was finding as of late, the cages on my mountain bike weren’t working for me either like they had in the past. My shoes would get caught on the pedals as I’d go in and out. I didn’t have the same pedal stroke power like I had with the clips. So, I put the clip pedals back on my mountain bike yesterday too. It’s going to take a bit to get used to riding with them. But, like in relationships, if one type isn’t working for you (why are we always drawn to the same type of person?), why not try something completely different?

So, overall, I have a new-old bike that I’m really excited about. The things it needs to make it decent are fairly minor, but important. That’s talking and communication. I have a great looking frame as a base that is solid and easy on the eyes. That’s like having an attractive woman in my life who is together and is my friend first and foremost. Now, I’m ready for the ride.



@Ybbeige
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Love, loss, hope and new love