Monday, March 4, 2013

Trippin’ Like Alice

I find that I like making analogies and comparing bits of my life to other things. A while back, I compared relationships to a ten-speedbike. As of late, I’ve been feeling like my life is like a fairy tale. I’ve got love in my life like a happy Disney movie. Yay. But, then, I’ve got JeffersonAirplane White Rabbit, swirly, non-sensical, 1865 Lewis Carroll, voodoo stuff going on too.

My inability to stay focused on any task at hand and the constant nausea and spinning in my brain has me feeling like I’m tripping like Alice in Wonderland. Not to mention the going from drug to drug to “help” with my post-concussive syndrome. I wish I could take a drug and just grow out of this or shrink out of it…either way…like Alice did. And, then, I’d be done with it all. But, no. I’m just so sensitive to meds. Most have made me feel more cloudy or foggy than I already am. And, I’m not really sure if they could cure it, but just lessen some side effects.

Teas sometimes help with headaches. I swear this one made with mushrooms
makes me have funky dreams. Look for them at your local Asian market.

Obviously, the whole story of Alice in Wonderland was like one big drug trip (though I’ve heard the author says otherwise). I’d like to say that I have personal college experience to compare it to, that I inhaled, but no, I’m your typical goody-two-shoes. A square. My closest comparison would be doctor-prescribed medicines. What I’ve experienced sounds like what friends have described at parties (at college or the like). I personally don’t like what I’ve experienced. My reaction is one of the reasons I fought so hard to have surgery without being put under.

I think, too, that I’m the type of person who experiences all those scary, horrible side effects that you hear on the commercials on TV. Who wants to have difficulty breathing, rashes, dizziness, seizures, bleeding, coma, heart attacks, stroke, urinary tract infections, thoughts of suicide, your bits falling off, death? Okay, I’m not sure about your bits falling off, but I’ve heard all the other ones mentioned and have experienced way too many side effects to be comfortable with. So, why would anyone in their right mind want to take something with those possible side effects? Death? Really? Good times. Neat.

I haven’t found that any of the drugs I took had benefits that outweighed the side effects I felt. Why would I choose to be groggy 18 hours after taking something to help me sleep? And, it didn’t even help me sleep, just kept me awake and groggy through the night. Thank goodness I have a sister who is a pharmacist. She’s been able to tell me that I’m having a reaction and how to stop (you can’t always go cold turkey). Are those allergic reactions what people like to experience? Is that the “high” that people talk about?

Oh, like carrying around little wax paper things of white powder doesn't look sketchy?
Five Eleven told me about this. I seriously thought she was doing something illegal.
It's a southern thing.

I used to be the person who would throw out their Advil and Tylenol because it would be outdated before I even came close to using a small bottle up. (Yes, my pharmacist sister is all about dates on meds). Now, I’ve used up those bottles trying to find relief for my headaches, but they have never actually taken the entire headache away.

Do you take meds for something? Do you find that they actually help you? Do you experience side effects? Do you like those side effects? Can you live with what you have without take any meds?

I’ve found myself having to live with new levels of headaches. What used to be a 4 or 5 (on the pain scale out of 10) when this whole thing happened, occasionally goes up to a 6 or 7 or even 8. Then, I have to wait until my body gets used to that new level and feels like a 4 or 5 again to me. Not fun, but what else do I do?

Generic Advil and Benadryl. Benadryl helps with nausea.
Just makes you sleepy unless you're one of the people it makes jittery.

I’m not all anti-drug, just so you know. I don’t mind some drugs. Allergy meds in the spring and Benadryl are my friends. When my doctor highly recommends something that may help me, I’ll now take her advice and try it. Even if I start with half of the most possible baby dose they make. And, one of these days, we might actually find something that works where I’m not trippin’ like Alice.


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