Saturday, August 11, 2012

Sleeping With the Enemy. Or, Things I Learned from Roger.

So, being the nature mom that I am, I thought it would be a great idea to catch the giant tomato caterpillar (aka tomato hornworm) that was decimating one of my tomato plants and bring it in for observation. Yea, so that was an interesting experience. Here are some things I learned from the critter we named Roger:

1. Tomato hornworms eat a LOT.
2. My girls said it was MY pet and I had to clean its tank (or rather large vase).
3. Tomato hornworms make a disgusting mess in their tanks.
4. Their back ends open completely to poop.
5. Their poop looks like little green mulberries.
6. Roger works as a fantastic diet aid when kept on the dining room table. Kinda curbs your appetite. Not kinda. Definitely curbs it.
7. You lose all will to eat with a fat caterpillar in your kitchen.
8. My friends think he’s pure evil and that I’m sleeping with the enemy. (I didn’t sleep with him just so you know. I am a lesbian and not a zoophiliac).
9. Tomato hornworms don’t do well in captivity. I don’t do well with tomato hornworms in captivity. Three days is my max.
10. My neighbor likes Roger much more than I do.

Did you know that formicophilia is a form of zoophilia where you have an interest in having insects crawl or nibble on you? Yea, that's creepy. So is paraphilia which could include applying insects to your genitals. Double creepy.


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