Monday, April 30, 2012

Sex and Yogurt Abs

Sometimes things change suddenly. Sometimes things change so slowly that you may not have noticed. I had one of those, “Wow, that’s different” realizations this past weekend. I realized that I actually had abs. Almost like a six pack type of thing going on.

I was sorting through clothes in my drawers and closet. Switching out winter stuff and getting out more shorts and summer wear (though the temps are still questionably cold for Maine). There were lots of things to try on. Some that I vaguely remember being big from last summer and some things I was shrinking out of this past winter. Why put it away when I don’t ever plan on going back up in size?

So, standing in front of my mirrored closet doors (oh, the wonders of 70s architecture), I saw that I actually had definition. Woohoo. Rockin’ the abs!

The funny thing is that I haven’t been trying for them. I mean I do eat right. Lots of protein. Every morning I eat a bowl of plain Chobani Greek Yogurt with flaxseed meal, wheat germ and some type of fruit mixed into it. Usually half a banana. Switching to yogurt versus having cereal every morning has made a difference in weight loss/weight maintenance for me. And, it’s made a difference in what fits and what doesn’t; and obviously in what my abs are looking like.

I started with vanilla yogurt then went to plain and added my own honey.
Now, I skip the extra carbs and sugar and get my sweetness from the wheat germ and fruit.

Besides the yogurt, I do exercise. Well, the only “formal” exercise I do is one weekly yoga class (if I’m lucky). I try to do a few sit ups and pushups every other day or so. Plus, I try to walk on the beach a few times a week because I just love to be by the ocean. Exercise that doesn’t seem like exercise is my favorite kind.

One of the best exercises that fits into that category is sex. (Masturbation is a close second). Especially for an ab workout. You tighten every muscle and then relax it again. Your heart rate goes up. Way up sometimes. You burn 144 calories every thirty minutes having sex. It’s a good thing, as Martha would say.

Since 5-11 Sexy Boi has come into my life, I think that has made a world of difference for my abs and my body. I’m sure as heck smiling more. Smiling may not burn calories but kissing does. Making out burns 268 calories every half hour. My kind of workout.

Maybe the yogurt thing had started working for me, but having a sexy sexual girlfriend has just pushed my body to a new level. (Now, here’s where most people cringe at the thought of their parents reading their blog and putting out there, “Hey, Mom and Dad… I’m having sex and lots of it. Oh well, the fun of being me. Winky face.)

So, grab some yogurt. Grab a mate and have sex. Lots of sex. Before you know it, you’ll be rockin’ the abs.

Unexpectations for Kindle


  1. This workout will definitely help a man get a super sleek six pack. Try doing this workout three times per week in addition to your already solid workout program and let me know how your belly shapes up.

  2. Claire, thanks for sharing your method too. The good thing about life is that there are so many ways of doing things. Some work better for one person than another.


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