The idea of a love that lasts forever is one for us hopeful romantics. A theme for songs. For poems. For novels. And, for
movies (at least the chick flick variety).
Can one love in our life last forever? One love who is there through it all? Through thick and thin? Through ups and downs? As the Disney-theory goes, one would have to say “yes” to those questions. But, from life as I’ve seen it (and from what I’ve seen with so many others), I would say, “not exactly.”
As a friend once suggested, and as my life experiences have played out, there may be several loves in one’s lifetime. Several mates and partners that, each time, we think we are in love with them. The level of love may be different with each of those too. From first loves to lustful loves to this seems like I should make it work love. Maybe for each of those time periods in our life, those different loves worked?
Were we really sure that we were in love in each of those relationships? While we are in them we may think so. There’s the excitement. The butterflies. The passion. But is everything else there that should accompany those feelings? The sharing? The day to day rituals? The leaning on and being there for one another unconditionally? The dreaming of and working towards a future together? All of these things, along with the excitement, butterflies and passion should definitely be there.
Hindsight is 20/20. Looking back usually tells a different story. Initially we think we have those things. But careful or sometimes just obvious thought reveals that we didn’t have true love. It may have been young. It may have been forced. Or, it may have just been about sex and lust. Yea, good sex and lust can certainly feel like love.
Perhaps these different loves we thought we had are really just stepping stones for us? Steps that give us the background and knowledge for what we really want? Or, steps that give us the knowledge of what we don’t want? Steps that have given us experiences to compare what we’ve had to what we really need. Steps that show us how we treat others and how we should be treated.
I’d like to think that, now, as I am in my mid-40s that I have finally found my Forever Love. Funny thing is that I wasn’t even looking for it when it happened. I have been blown away by how right everything is with Five Eleven. How I have fallen in love with her from the inside out. By not looking, by not forcing a relationship, by starting out with a genuine friendship, I found someone who has matched up with all that I have ever wanted. Someone who totally gets me for me. And, who treats me the way I feel I have always deserved to be treated. And she loves the way that I treat her. It’s comfortable. We fit. How lucky am I?
So, from here on out, I figure I still have forever. Forever to experience and live life. And, now, I can do all that with my Forever Love.
How about you? Have you found your Forever Love? When did you find it? What makes it so special for you? Did you ever think you had it, but found out otherwise? Please share your thoughts below. Thanks!