Waking Up with Brandi Carlile

I wake up with Brandi Carlile every day. She makes me smile first thing every morning. I wish I could say that I sleep with her, too. But, the fact is, it is only her voice on my wake-up CD that brings me into every new day. And, her version of Bryan Adams’ Heaven is my song of choice.

We all have people we admire. People we crush on. Those we can only dream of meeting. Like those on your Hollywood-Who-Would-You-Do? list. Besides my old favorites of Jodie Foster and Angelina Jolie, Brandi Carlile is a relative newcomer that has joined the top 3…and they are in no particular order.

One of my album covers. Lots of great tunes.

As far as an ideal woman goes, Brandi seems to be very ideal. She’s so easy on the eyes, she just melts your insides (well, mine anyways). She has a smile that, well, melts my insides. She’s funny and personable. Gosh, can she sing! With a voice that also melts my insides. And, to see her play guitar and piano is just a bonus.

I’ve seen her 4 times in various venues. Biggest was at LL Bean in Freeport, Maine when she opened for the Indigo Girls. I was also lucky enough to see her perform a few songs with just a handful of people at WCLZ’s Studio Z in South Portland. I was so close to her, I know I breathed her air.

This is my one clear photo of Brandi leaving the WCLZ studios.
She didn't have time to stay for photos and we couldn't take pics during the performance.
For a slide show of that performance, click here.

Even though I had the biggest grin every time I saw her, I am not a stalker. Brandi, if you’re reading this, I am definitely not the stalker type. I rarely get all in a tussle about celebrities. I’d like to think they are just ordinary people like us. As an outsider we don’t know what they are truly like; what makes them tick. I like to think that I’m a good judge of character and can see the good in people. She seems like good people.

Anyway, back to waking up with Brandi… with a soft and almost haunting guitar, she sings Heaven to me every morning. It starts off with ‘Oh, thinkin’ about our younger years, there was only you and me, we were young and wild and free…’ until the chorus of:

Baby you’re all that I want

When you’re lyin’ here in my arms

I’m findin’ it hard to believe

We’re in heaven

And love is all that I need

And I found it there in your heart

It isn’t too hard to see

We’re in heaven

It’s a song of love. Of hopeful love. Of love that is so true and caring. Like being in Heaven on earth with the one you’re meant to be with. There is that one special person out there for each of us. The one, that when we find them, we feel like we can live on just the feeling of love alone with them. So, until she comes along and until I can wake up with her everyday, I’m just going to keep waking up with Brandi Carlile. For now, she's my little piece of Heaven.



@Ybbeige
http://facebook.com/barbarabeige
www.barbarabeige.com

Parasitic Twin or New Lesbian Lover? Hard to Tell the Difference

Oh, the zing you get from a new relationship! The pitter patters. The flush in your cheeks. The buzz in your loins. Yea, the sex is downright amazing. Best you’ve ever had. What more could you have asked for?

Sure, she lives four hours away. With tolls, gas and a few Starbucks, it’ll cost you a good hundred bucks just for the drive.

But, she’s worth it. She looked so cute on that dating site when you spotted her earlier in the week. Then after two days of emails and texts and one phone call, you met halfway to meet her cuteness in person. Of course it went well. You couldn’t take your eyes off hers. You wanted nothing more than to kiss those ChapStick lips of hers. And, because it was late and you’d both had a few drinks, you checked into a nearby B&B.

ChapStick is lesbian lipstick.

The roar of the fireplace, the hot tub, the soft sheets and fresh towels made you think you were in paradise. You both called out sick to work on Monday to make it last an extra day because you were just feeling it.

With stars in your eyes, you drove the two hours back to your home with the promise of her driving all the way to your place the following weekend. The next four days couldn’t pass by any slower. You’ve added her as a friend to your Facebook page. You both changed your relationship status to being with the other. You text and sext non-stop during those four days. You call on your way into work and on your way home. Then you talk late into the evening. All the while cooking and eating your dinners together and never hanging up…even to pee.

Then, Date Number 2 comes around. She makes it to your house on Friday evening after work (which she cut out a few hours early from). The passion starts all over again. More mind-blowing sex. Conversations that go until all hours of the night. Tangled bodies. Delivery Thai and pizza because you don’t want to waste any of your time together not being practically naked on top of each other.

You spend the next week talking about how much you have in common and how you’ve never felt this way before. Sexually. Spiritually. Anyway.

At Date Number 3, you’ve been together a whole two weeks. You’re definitely exclusive. No doubt about that. You go into her home. It’s clean like yours. Nag Champa is in the air. It’s okay, because you always burn Nag Champa. The kind in the blue box. Her home is painted in colors similar to yours. She has the same paper lamp from IKEA that you do. And, the same Marilyn Monroe poster. So much in common!

You've tried the gold box and the blue box. You seem to like the blue better.
As do your other lesbian friends. I like to get mine from Leapin Lizards.

As you pull her into you, you notice she’s wearing new GAP jeans. Your favorite brand. And, under those Sexy Boot cuts are Jockey underwear. The same kind you wear. What a coincidence!

Wow, you think. So much in the universe is mashing together. Little do you know, she is wearing her first pair of GAPs and Jockeys. And, she painted her home while talking to you on the phone earlier this week. Her new haircut is similar to yours. She has Yoga Journal and Curve magazines on her coffee table. Just like you.

The best ever lesbian magazine.
www.curvemag.com

She cracks open a bottle of wine. As you sip it together, she gives you a tiny box with a pretty silver band in it. Engraved with both your names on the inside. She has one to match. “Marry Me,” she says as Train’s song plays in the background. A well-timed tune on her iPod which is followed by the Indigo Girls, Brandi Carlile and Catie Curtis. Some of your favorite lesbian artists.

You are swept away. In total love. You talk about what your wedding will be like. You talk about moving in together. Who makes more? Who has the more flexible career who could move? Everything’s okay, you make enough so you can support her while she finds a job in your area.

Date Number 4. She’s back at your place. You actually go out on the town to eat dinner and to show her off. So interesting how you both are wearing North Face jackets. The style is almost identical. You are a match made in heaven.

You know the logo. And, hey, they practically have a rainbow.

Or, are you? Stop. Look closely. Look at everything. Breathe. You are packing the U-Haul in your mind and you have been together less than a month. This is where lesbians can’t distinguish fact from fiction. It is all a blissful reality.

I'll just save you time in getting the U-Haul. Click here.

Your new lesbian lover is your wannabe twin. She wants to be like you. She dresses like you. She decorates like you. She has all the exact same hobbies as you. She loves all the same foods. She’s so ready to move in with you. If you don’t get to know her better before shacking up, you’ll see a side to her that is going to suck you dry. Or, maybe just suck. Emotionally. Financially. Spiritually. Oh, and the chances are the sex will probably become less than stellar. Forget about ever seeing any of your friends who are your exes too. It’ll be too much for her to handle. She’ll be too jealous. And forget about seeing any friends who you may not have dated. You won’t have time. You are her whole life. Why can’t you focus all of your time and attention on her?

So, the question is…Is this your new lesbian lover or your parasitic twin? And the answer is…

www.barbarabeige.com

@Ybbeige

http://facebook.com/barbarabeige
Married Woman Coming Out Story